Emu’s Nest: Steven Smith has been arrested

Well, it’s finally happened. Steven Smith has been arrested.

May I just state at this point in time that what you are about to read is 100% factually correct. At times we have been known to slightly ‘exaggerate’ things in this section, but I assure you that this is exactly what has taken place in the past week.

Our feathered friend was last week called in to the local police station and arrested with burglary upon arrival.

A home in Aspendale was recently broken into and several items (computer, notebooks, etc) were taken in what must have been a horrible experience for the family involved.

A McDonald’s cup was discovered at the scene which the forensic department managed to match the fingerprints on the said cup to that of our man the Moo (turns out he was fingerprinted when initially hired at Crown Casino many moons ago).

The street this took place in turns out to be where the Emu’s former partner resides, and it therefore appears that he has ’misplaced’ the cup at some point outside the aforementioned burgled home.

Once Emu stopped crying and the detectives realised what had taken place (and that there is very little chance he could have got in or out of a window), he was released with a severe warning over his garbage disposal methods.

Morale of the story: Don’t litter and lay of the Maccas.

The Clipboard Editorial Team extends it’s warmest thanks to Emu for once again proving to be the flagship source of all roo-mours, gossip and innuendo which this publication lives on.

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